Comments - Shoplifter Attempts to Outrun Undercover Security
category: Cool | views: 25336 | posted on: 07/19/2008
No one told him that undercover mall security guards are highly trained and capable of stopping anyone, anytime. And it's a good thing because it's not true.
ambientgravy [ban] | Jul 19 08 : 4:21am
+3 ![]()
He could have made it if he had'nt felt the need to carry a purse.
+3 ![]()
He was trying to play Neg's Urban Sprinting.
http://www.youtube.com/wa tch?v=l8CEzILvtg8&feature =related
He needs more practice. ![]()
3cheersforsodomy [ban] | Jul 21 08 : 4:12am
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hahaha good to know the beauty of Neg hasn't gone unnoticed!
DiscoBiscuit [ban] | Jul 19 08 : 4:29am
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Why go through all the trouble just for a pink polkadot thong? When he could just have asked his dad for one?!?! ![]()
Cougarbait [ban] | Jul 19 08 : 5:01am
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damnit!! the friggin cameras outside aren't working again....someones ass is getting fired for this!!!
paintedhorse [ban] | Jul 19 08 : 5:09am
+4 ![]()
he had a purse on his sholder ,that kept him from running fast . let that be a lesson , men who carry purses are pusses.
EverythingToxicUSA [ban] | Jul 19 08 : 5:29am
+2 ![]()
If they had done a strip search for the purse-carrying queer, I am sure they would have found out he is a pantywaist also.
Dr. Klaus Engelmann [ban] | Jul 19 08 : 5:34am
+1 ![]()
Maybe if he had run instead of jogged he could have made it.
Majestic12 [ban] | Jul 19 08 : 5:41am
+3 ![]()
He should be grateful:
#1. The security was not Russian.
#2. No little old lady had taken a shit out by the front doors.
+6 ![]()
Poor guy can't do shit.
Can't pay for shit yet, can't steal shit and get away with it either..and can't outrun a rent-a-cop with the shit he tried to steal. He might as well just throw himself off a bridge. Hell, he'd probably even fail at that. He'd land on a school of jelly-fish and they'd toss him on the back of a turtle and the turtle would carry him to safety...and so he lives to fail another day.
iMasturbate [ban] | Jul 19 08 : 6:21am
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hahahaha. what a nerd. he wasn't even close to fast or strong so i don't understand why he even bothered.
dirty back road [ban] | Jul 19 08 : 6:34am
+1 ![]()
rent o cop was walking in front ????????
the guy had ran 10 feet b4 he noticed
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8 to 10 hrs in a polyester outfit listening to vallygirls regergitate their meaningless lives and skater punks who think they're owed the right to be assholes making stupid comments while trying to sound tough for their boyfriends I'm surprised more security guards don't just snap and leave a trail of twitching bodies
buggsquasher [ban] | Jul 19 08 : 10:33am
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HAHAHA, MAYBE IF HIS PANTS WERE NOT SO TIGHT , HIS BALLS WOULD OF HELP HIM BOOST , SOME NITROGEN INTO HIS BLOOD STREAM,
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DeathByDomino [ban] | Jul 19 08 : 10:44am
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A guy that big should easialy been thought of being a guard. He was huge lol
ItsAllGoodInDaHood [ban] | Jul 19 08 : 11:28am
+2 ![]()
when the guard went after him that would have been the perfect time for me to go steal some baggy jeans
LongLiveMcHammer [ban] | Jul 19 08 : 3:17pm
+3 ![]()
He was going 2 pay 4 the goods but ran because he was afraid of the big burly dick smuggler. I would run 2 if a guy tried 2 take me in2 a back room with pants tighter than a condom on Ron Jermy’s dick.
http://ronjeremy.com/
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indyman911 [ban] | Jul 19 08 : 4:27pm
+3 ![]()
Some Benny Hill music would have been perfect with this one.
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MemphisSaint [ban] | Jul 20 08 : 2:18am
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I DO wonder what happened outside; the lifter was suprisingly compliant once they returned to the store. He even looked a little dazed and confused.
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Oh well. I'll assume a certain degree of bad-ass-ness for this particular rent-a-cop.
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get some, piglett! ![]()
BombastFury [ban] | Jul 21 08 : 6:26am
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Nah, he misjudged the weight to speed ratio of the security guard. Mustve been ex military. Apply the derivative next time to ensure you have enough torque . . or something.
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neebuz [ban] | Jul 19 08 : 4:09am
+3
no way he had plenty of chances to get off before his slow run attempt