If you thought "glass jaw" was a figure of speech, watch this. And listen, too.

Posted: 05/07/2008  | Views: 183004  | Comments (143)

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I've met quadriplegics that could kick this loser's ass.

Posted: 05/04/2008  | Views: 122573  | Comments (99)

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Since it was a female cop that did the choking, feminists couldn't figure out who to blame. So they just went back to eating each other.

Posted: 05/09/2008  | Views: 105149  | Comments (189)

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If you've ever wondered if a wildebeest can be mentally retarded, here's your answer.

Posted: 05/04/2008  | Views: 103309  | Comments (103)

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I did the same exact thing yesterday. My grandma and her bingo partner are still pissed at me. (Note: We know about the ads with sound and we're working on removing them. Sorry.)

Posted: 05/06/2008  | Views: 96825  | Comments (125)

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It took the cop on duty 19 minutes to realize he wasn't watching Death Warrant on TBS.

Posted: 05/06/2008  | Views: 78306  | Comments (156)

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If he would've watched Over the Top, he would be fully aware all you need is a centimeter of extra grip and you automatically win.

Posted: 05/08/2008  | Views: 60060  | Comments (81)

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If she would've just rode me instead, this never would've happened.

Posted: 05/05/2008  | Views: 56189  | Comments (77)

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In the movies, the bottle always breaks so easily. In real life, it just fucking hurts.

Posted: 05/08/2008  | Views: 53522  | Comments (83)

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I was half expecting to hear "God Damn America!"

Posted: 05/05/2008  | Views: 53107  | Comments (79)

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Yeah, but when they later compared his IQ to the treadmill's, he just edged it out. Take that, treadmill!

Posted: 05/06/2008  | Views: 52602  | Comments (93)

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Real bullets are probably cheaper than rubber bullets, so in the name of frugality, they should've killed this man.

Posted: 05/07/2008  | Views: 49124  | Comments (71)

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This dog is a dream come true for Korean restaurants.

Posted: 05/06/2008  | Views: 44846  | Comments (50)

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At the very end, I'm pretty sure he's being raped and/or eaten alive.

Posted: 05/08/2008  | Views: 43629  | Comments (111)

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This is pretty amazing. Fuck off, Magic Eye.

Posted: 05/10/2008  | Views: 43539  | Comments (95)

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There's some rain coming in from the west, you fucking cunts. So get a fucking umbrella.

Posted: 05/05/2008  | Views: 43454  | Comments (73)

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Beastiality fans are pissed. This was a great opportunity for a threesome.

Posted: 05/07/2008  | Views: 42215  | Comments (142)

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This is why my mom still breastfeeds me. My bones are strong as a mule.

Posted: 05/07/2008  | Views: 40886  | Comments (77)

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