Angry Bull Slams Horn Into Skull of Rider KTFO And Twitching
Kudos to Dusty for not being a candy-ass and wearing a freakin' football helmet in rodeo like a lot of today's wussy riders do. Some things are SUPPOSED to be dangerous.

Posted on:
04/23/2009 8:04am

Retarded Store Robber Gets Ass Kicked by Manager
Really... After what the manager did to the dumb-ass on camera, one can only imagine what happened to him after he was dragged to a more discreet location. Ever wonder what all those Bruce Lee impersonators wound up doing after their 15 minutes of fame in the '70s? Running convenience stores, that's what.

Posted on:
03/31/2009 9:55am

High School Kid Delivers Vicious Beating in Hallway
NEVER HIT A MAN WHEN HE'S DOWN... Kick him. It's easier.

Posted on:
03/31/2009 9:44am

Sudanese Teen Commits Suicide Off Powerlines
What a wussy move... Only climbed halfway up. C'mon, ya' lazy SOB! It's not like you need to save your energy for anything else later in the day. Go all the way to the tippy-top, do a flip, and go out with style! If you're gonna do it, do it RIGHT!

Posted on:
03/21/2009 9:45am

Crocodiles Devour Whole Gazelles in One Bite
"Evolution-shmevolution, bitch!" They haven't evolved in over 100,000,000 years, 'cause they haven't needed to. Got it right the first time.

Posted on:
03/17/2009 10:45am

Insane Driver Plows Through Crowd Injuring Many
What part of "Get the fuck out of the way, asshats!!!" didn't they understand?

Posted on:
03/16/2009 10:15am

Supected Kenyan Witches Horrifically Burned Alive
Note: The Puritans in America actually hanged witches rather than burning them. Stringing someone up is pretty mean, but doesn't require near the bloodlust and barbarism it takes to beat people into submission to the point that they'll sit in a ditch to be slow-roasted.

Posted on:
03/13/2009 9:40am

Chinese Guy Blows Himself Up With Homemade Bomb
Yikes! He blasted himself into pixels!!!

Posted on:
02/22/2009 8:35am

Mexican Bullrider Brutally Trampled to Death
Even though they lacked greasepaint, baggy pants, and rainbow suspenders, the arena crew were definitely clowns... And they sucked rocks through a garden hose at the job. (For those unfamiliar with rodeo, the clowns are supposed to save the rider's bacon, not stand around like idiots while the poor guy gets stomped to a squishy rag-doll.)
And no, the flank strap does not cinch tight on the bull's 'nads. If it did, the last thing the critter would do is jump around violently. (Severe pain immobilizes.) The strap fits farther forward, and is just an annoyance that the ill-tempered bull bucks harder to get rid of.
Being a rodeo bull is actually a pretty enviable occupation. You only work a few minutes every now and then. You're well-fed and looked-after. And, if you're a real ass-kicker, you get to spend your retirement fucking. Sure beats what most bull calves have to look forward to. (Castration, eventually followed by a bolt-gun to the head and hamburgerization.)
Mmmmmmmm. Hamburgers.....

Posted on:
02/21/2009 11:52am

44 Caliber Nerf Gun Nut Shot
Okay... That wasn't a Nerf toy gun. It was a brass-framed replica Remington New Model Army percussion revolver. Normally loaded with lead bullets, black powder, and percussion caps (primers), it is plenty deadly and accurate... But not considered a "firearm" under US law because it does not use fixed cartridge ammunition.
This one was apparently loaded sans bullets (perhaps just the percussion caps, or caps and powder with wad), then had some sort of arrow projectile inserted through the barrel (maybe this was the Nerf toy part)...
All in all, Darwin's ghost strikes again!

Posted on:
02/07/2009 10:11am